New kid on the block

It's something we all dream about. A fresh start in pastures new with all sorts of exciting possibilities and opportunities to reinvent ourselves and start life over again. There are certainly enough programmes on television following people as they take the plunge and move to a new area, either here or abroad, and as well as allowing us to look at lots of lovely homes and properties it provides great entertainment watching the families on the move deliberate about this living room being too small and that kitchen looking out on a busy, noisy road.

But what happens when the cameras have gone and the doors are closed and a new life really does have to begin? Well, it's not that easy. At least not at the beginning. If you're about to move because of work or school commitments be prepared for the odd bout of loneliness and a permanently etched smile on your face as you try to make new friends.

Jane Weaver moved out of London when her son Thomas turned three. 'We moved in May and it was too late then to get my son into the summer term at nursery school and all the toddler groups were full. We spent the whole of the summer going from one park café to another so that the regulars didn't realise I was Billy-no-mates!'

Summer might seem like the ideal time to move but remember if you have children they won't be able to start to make new friends until school starts again in September and so you will have them under your feet all day long while you're still trying to unpack all the boxes.

If you are moving from a big city to a smaller town or village try and make an effort and be as open as possible if anyone shows signs of wanting to be friendly. A willingness to engage and be open to strangers will pay dividends and making the effort to join in new activities, perhaps through the WI or village hall, or running a stall at a local fair are well worth the initial few shy moments. Put an ad in the local paper to start up a book club or join the gym and meet new faces while shedding some extra pounds at the same time.

When you move to a new area it's as much to do with a change of attitude as a change of address and always say yes to any invitation you get. Even though you may not click with the person asking you round for a coffee or for a game of tennis they will have other mates and slowly your circles of friends will grow and so will your confidence as you really start to embrace your new life.